A New Start
by Stitchious
Summary: In Dagger we saw Ziva connect a little with Amanda Lee, what if Amanda's aunt decided she didn't want the responsibility of an 7 year old who had already lost so much in her small life. What if she felt that her niece was better off with the Agent who had formed a connection with her.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:Some liberties are taken like the fact that Tali is not mentioned until Silent Night which is two episodes after Dagger but hey maybe she might have shared stuff with Amanda in an attempt to make her feel better.

Chapter One

Amanda Lee sat in her room dressed in a new black dress, new black patent shoes and a new black coat and cried, Mishi was gone, never coming back just like her mommy and daddy that Mishi always used to tell her stories about. She clutched Mishi's badge in her small hands and felt alone, she remembered Ziva sitting with her and comforting her after Gibbs had given her the badge and told her about Mishi. She had sat there waiting for an aunt she barely knew to pick her up. Mishi had never really mentioned her and she had only seen her a couple of times until then. Gibbs had said she was going to live with her now and she had almost asked him if her aunt was nice. Something stopped her though, however she had asked Ziva about her aunt, if she was a nice lady. Ziva had seemed shocked she recalled, but had said she seemed like a lovely lady when they spoke on the phone.

Ziva had spoken about her family, how she knew how She felt about losing Mishi because she had lost her brother and sister and that while right now it hurt a lot she should not avoid speaking of Mishi as that was a good way to keep her memory alive, Ziva had explained that it would stop being so painful after a while. Amanda cried some more, she missed Ziva, Ziva had held her while she cried and made her feel safe in a world that no longer made sense. Then her aunt had arrived and Amanda wasn't sure how to react to her, the lady seemed nice but she didn't hug her, didn't hold her like Ziva did, like Mishi had. Her aunt didn't make her feel safe when she woke from nightmares, she just told she was safe now but she didn't feel safe anymore.

It had been a week since Gibbs told her about Mishi and today was the funeral, Amanda looked at the black cloth around her arm and sighed, it was a reminder of how Mishi was gone, but her aunt had insisted she wear it as was tradition. (relying on google here so I apologise if its wrong) Downstairs her aunt was calling her and with a final sigh Amanda left the sparse room she called her own and went downstairs.

Amanda looked over and a small smile appeared on her face, Ziva was stood with Tony, Abby, Gibbs Ducky and some others that she didn't know very well. Looking up at her aunt and seeing she was watching her Amanda quickly and quietly approached Ziva, she slipped her hand into Zivas and felt her squeeze her hand. She looked up and tears welled in her eyes again. Ziva knelt in front of her, released her hand and wrapped her arms around her, Amanda stiffened and then relaxed into the hug she so desperatley craved. She felt her self being lifted and tightened her grip round Zivas neck not wanting to let go, she felt safe again, like she did when she Mishi had been here before the man took her and kept her in the room.

Ziva P.O.V

She watched Amanda approach and noticed the child's dejected appearance, she looked much like Ziva had when Tali had been killed. When Amanda slipped her hand into to her own, Ziva had squeezed it gently in assurance, she looked down and saw the tears form in Amanda's eyes, doing what felt as natural as breathing she knelt down and hugged her, when Amanda stiffened she frowned but the girl relaxed fairly quickly. Gauging her weight Ziva lifted her and stood up holding into Amanda feeling her tighten her grip. She wondered how she was dealing with the loss of her only mother figure And felt the urge to never let the little girl go, she couldn't explain the connection she felt but she had told her things she had not shared with any of her friends here. Ziva held onto Amanda while the funeral proceeded and when she saw that the shooting of the guns was about to begin whispered to Amanda to cover her ears, she felt the child jump in her arms at the sound of the guns and tightened her grip while murmuring words of comfort into her hair. The shooting stopped and Ziva turned so that Amanda could see the flag being folded and smiled sadly when she gripped the flag in her small hands like a lifeline.

As people started leaving Amanda's aunt approached and asked if she could speak to Ziva in private later that day. Ziva agreed to speak to her and relunctly she lowered Amanda to the ground. Ziva wiped the tears from Amanda's cheek and smiled softly at her, "remember what I told you that day, it will get better tateleh". She hugged her once more and watched as Amanda stood stiffly by her aunt. "Where would you like to talk Mrs Lee?"

"Could you come to the house in an hour, here is the address" Mrs Lee handed a slip of paper to Ziva and nodded once before headed off with Amanda's hand held in her own. Amanda looked back and Ziva felt her chest tighten, she realised her cheeks were wet with tears and discreetelly dried her cheeks. She turned and found Tony stood behind her " what do you need Tony" she forced her words to be steady and sighed when Tony didn't answer but simply wrapped her in a hug "She'll be ok Ziva, she will in time" was all her said and Ziva nodded and hugged him back in a rare show of affection, today she wanted to feel, today she was grieving for the mother of a child, a friend she had worked with however brief it had been, a woman who's final moments had been filled with heroism, a woman who had given her life so that Gibbs could get the bad guy, so that no one else on that bus would be hurt, so that her child would hopefully never know of the wrong doings she had played a role in, so that child could remain innocent and not jaded. Today she was Ziva, today she was human not the Mossad agent she had been raised to be, the Mossad agent she longed to never go back to being.


	2. Chapter 2

**A:N: I have some prewritten so will post regularly for now, not sure how long this will be.**

**Chapter Two**

An hour later Ziva stood outside the house she had been given directions to. She had analysed everything earlier and could not understand why Amanda's aunt wanted to speak with her, she took a deep breath and knocked the door.

The door opened moments later and Ziva looked at Mrs Lee, she looked tired and worn. The duty of having a young child was daunting for the woman in her fifties and Ziva smiled politely feeling for the woman. She entered the house and was directed to the lounge.

"Would you like a drink Ziva?" Mrs Lee asked and her voice also gave evidence of how tired the woman was.

"No thank you Mrs Lee, not to be rude but I am curious as to why you wished to meet with me?"

Mrs Lee sighed, "as you may know I am not in much of a position to take on a child, I have no experience with children and it is not my wish to have children, I am getting older and a child like Amanda who has experienced much loss is not a task I feel I am able to take on, she also I feel would be better with someone else, someone who can relate to her. I barely know the child, her parents and I didn't see eye to eye, we disagreed on many things. I also didn't see much of Michelle I barely knew her. You yourself knew her better than I ever could have. So while I know this is a lot to ask, I asked you here in the hopes that you might see fit to take the child and raise her as your own."

Ziva felt her eyes fill at the admission that this woman had no desire to care for the child entrusted to her care by law not by choice. "If I choose not to what becomes of Amanda then?"

"She will go into the foster system I will not raise her" Mrs Lee was blunt, she seemed cold and she knew it, she sighed and produced an old picture.

Ziva took the picture and frowned. "The baby was mine, she lived for several hours before passing and I swore then I would not have any more children, the pain that is still with me from the loss of my baby is too much and having Amanda here is a constant reminder of what will never be. It would be cruel to us both for her to remain with me, understand please that I am thinking of her and she deserves someone who can love her freely, I could never give her that, but you she trusts, you are the one she calls for after she realises that Michelle is gone and her nightmare is a reality not just a bad dream". Mrs Lee broke off and barely held her emotions in check and Ziva realised that the woman had faced a loss that was unimaginable.

"I understand but I am not an American citizen I do not think I would be allowed to take Amanda as much as I want to" Zivas chest tightened again at the thought that she may not be able to take care of Amanda as much as she wanted to.

Mrs Lee smiled, "I spoke with an adoption lawyer and she informed me that it can be done if your directories willing to help you. If you agree to this you could take her with you now and all the details could be dealt with in a matter of days, Amanda is the child of an Agent that may make things easier"

Ziva's mind swam and half an hour later she found herself headed to Director Vances house, Amanda dozing in the back seat clutching Lees badge. She only hoped the Director would be willing to do this and would not consult her father in this instance. She sighed as she pulled into his driveway and parked the car, she climbed out and went round to the back to wake Amanda.

Minutes later she stood on the doorstep, Amanda in her arms and feeling more nervous than she had ever felt in her life, reaching with her free hand she rang the bell to the Directors and waited. Moments later the door opened and Jacky stood with a frown on her face "Ziva? Is everything ok? What's going on?"

Ziva smiled tiredly, "Hi Jacky I hate to bother you but is the Director here I need his help, it's very important?"

"Of course come in, sorry I was surprised to see you, who is this little darling?"

Entering Ziva barely noticed her surroundings a first she thought shrewdly. "This is Amanda, she is Agent Lees daughter, I went to her aunts and she has asked me to take custody of her, for that I need Leon's help"

Jacky gasped in surprise and nodded saying "this way of course he will help you" she guided Ziva to Leon's study, "Kayla and Jared are home if Amanda would like to join them in the den, they are watching cartoons?"

Ziva nodded and after speaking to her Amanda followed Jacky to the den, moments later Jacky reappeared and together they entered the study.

Ziva took a deep breath and smiled a greeting to her Director, she was saved from explaining her visit by Jacky

"Ziva needs your help Leon, it seems that the aunt who took Amanda Lee has no wish to look after her"

Ziva spoke up at this point, "I want to take her director but I need your help to obtain custody, I also need you not to mention this to Eli just yet"

Vance frowned as he took the information in, it was twist he did not see coming and he was unsure how this would end, however looking at his wife he could see that if he did not help Ziva he would pay hell for it later. He sighed and looked at Ziva, he wanted to help her, and in an instant he made a decision that if Eli did not like he could take up with his daughter, he laughed inside at that thought knowing that Ziva would no doubt talk her father round and if he was honest maybe Eli would embrace her choice. "Ok David I will sort this out, do you know who Mrs Lee is using as a lawyer?"

Ziva let out a sigh of relief and handed Vance one of the cards Mrs Lee had handed to her "thank you Leon it means a lot that you are doing this"

Vance took the card and smiled, Ziva had connected with the girl, she was acting human. He picked up the phone and dialled the number on the card, minutes later he was dealing with the lawyer and had arranged for a meeting the following day, when hopefully Ziva would have custody of the child, it was made easier by the fact that Amanda was the child of an Agent, and her friend also an employee of NCIS wanted to adopt the child.

"David be in my office tomorrow at 9am with a bit of luck and a few pulled strings you could be that little girls mother by tomorrow night, once the paperwork is signed I will sort out maternity leave for you, I assume you have Amanda with you now?"

Ziva nodded and Jacky left to get her, "Thank you Leon, this means a lot to me, she is important to me" Ziva smiled as Amanda followed Jacky into the room.

"Ziva, we watched Tom and Jerry, it's funny will you watch it with me?" Amanda launched her self at Ziva speaking quickly.

Ziva chuckled and pulled her onto her lap, "I'm sure we can find a DVD at the store later when we go shopping for some clothes for you tateleh, and I would love to watch it with you, maybe we can watch it in bed with popcorn hmm?" Ziva smiled at the memory of doing just that when she was younger. She felt Amanda nod against her and watched her stifle a yawn. "Amanda do you remember Director Vance? He's going to try and help make it so you can live with me"

Amanda smiled and spoke to Vance "you will and it will be forever? I don't wanna live with Aunty"

Vance smiled "I will do all I can to help you and Ziva" if he was honest he felt for the little girl who had lost her only mother, although he thought with a sigh, the outcome had Lee survived would have been the same.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Ziva left the Vance residence feeling lighter, if anyone could help her in this situation it was Vance. Formulating a plan in her head Ziva decided she needed to speak to Gibbs and it had to be tonight, she also needed to go shopping. She headed to the mall and bought Amanda some new clothes, she helped her choose and was glad when Amanda decided to have clothes with lots of color, it was a good sign she thought that she hadn't wanted to wear black. After they had picked out clothes Ziva headed to the toy section, she smiled at the books the shop held and felt pride for Amanda when she picked out several books telling Ziva about each one. Ziva smiled sadly knowing that at the moment Amanda was able to be happy but later it would be likely be tears and sadness as Amanda allowed herself to remember that Mishi as she called Lee was gone. Ziva fought back tears as she thought of how Agent Lee had thanked her, for understanding why she had made the choices she had made. Amanda tugging on her hand, she looked down at her and smiled "yes Amanda?" What Amanda said next made her want to cry for the bastard that had done this, the man that took her and used her to manipulate Lee, and eventually caused her death and for what she thought bitterly, for money.

"I miss Mishi Ziva I miss her a lot" tears fell down Amanda's cheeks and Ziva knelt and hugged her tight "I know you do and I bet Mishi wishes she was here with you tateleh, but you know what she's watching over you know like a guardian angel and she would be so proud of you, for how brave you are being. She would want you to be happy too Amanda." Ziva pulled back from her after a few moments when she felt her calm down. "Come on let's get this finished and get out of here." Amanda nodded and together they finished getting a few more things including several Tom and Jerry DVDs and a portable DVD player.

Ziva pulled up outside Gibbs house, she had been here so many times when she needed to talk or just company, she knew that Gibbs would support her choice to look after Amanda and hopefully they could spend the night, Ziva was tired as was Amanda it had been a long day and she needed someone to talk to badly.

Ziva walked around to the back of the car and smiled Amanda had fallen asleep, not wanting to wake her Ziva carefully unbuckled her belt and lifted her out of the car. Amanda wrapped her arms around her neck and whimpered "ZiZi?"  
"I'm here tateleh go back to sleep" she felt Amanda snuggle closer and carefully grabbed a couple of bags from the car that she had thankfully set aside with clothes for the night and next day. She slung a backpack over one shoulder and locked the car. She walked up to the house and opened the door, thanking Gibbs for keeping it unlocked. Dropping the bags by the couch in the lounge she shifted Amanda in her arms and carefully made her way down to the basement where she could hear the sounds of Gibbs working on another project.

As she neared the bottom of the stairs she kept her eyes on Gibbs, she wasn't sure what to say to him. He looked up when he heard footsteps "what's going on Ziver"  
Typical Gibbs straight and too the point, "I needed someone to talk to, someone who could tell me if what I'm doing is crazy?" Ziva let it out in a rush, as she sat on the bottom step with Amanda cuddled into her lap still sleeping.

Gibbs looked at the child in her arms and smiled softly, he wasn't surprised, he had seem the connection Ziva had made with Amanda and he had seen the Aunt who had arrived to fetch her. Added with the scene at the graveyard it all made sense. "Vance helping you gain custody of her?" He asked

Ziva took a sharp intake of breath "yes I spoke to him earlier I have to meet with him and the lawyer tomorrow morning, he says he should be able to help and then I can go on maternity leave tip I sort out the house and school for Amanda"

Gibbs nodded, "you told Eli yet?" He knew the likely answer and Ziva confirmed his suspisicions  
"No, I find myself unable to work out what to say to him, I intend to wait til everything is final" Ziva thought to herself, _that way he can't interfere too much._


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: sorry it's not a massive post, will try and post more soon, just been busy with work, got an exam coming up so yeah.**

Ziva looked at the child curled up in her arms, tomorrow she would be the mother of a seven year old little girl (Looked for info on Amanda's age and the Internet turned its back on me). Amanda whimpered in her sleep and Ziva ran a hand through Amanda's hair to soothe her, she recognised the beginnings of a nightmare and held her closer whispering comforts in the child's ear. Smiling softly at her soon to be daughter Ziva started to sing softly, as she repositioned both of them so that they were lying on the bed. When she was sure the nightmare had passed Ziva allowed herself to fall into a light slumber.

The alarm sounded the next morning and Ziva jarred awake, slamming the alarm off she looked at the still sleeping child and gently kissed her forehead before extracting herself carefully. Ziva showered in record time before waking Amanda. They had a big day ahead of them and from the smell wafting up the stairs it looked like Gibbs had started breakfast. Dressed and looking presentable for the meeting that would take place that morning Ziva and Amanda walked into the kitchen, Amanda behind Ziva shyly until she saw who it was at the kitchen table and ran over to hug the man who had told her Mishi had died a hero. Gibbs smiled and hugged the child back "what would you like for breakfast? I think there might be some Lucky Charms in that cupboard over there" Gibbs pointed to the cupboard opposite the kitchen door. Amanda looked at Ziva for permission and once she gained a nod rushed over to said cupboard. Letting out a squeal of delight Amanda grabbed the box and handed it to Ziva so she could make her breakfast.

"How you feeling Ziver?" Gibbs asked, smiling as he watched her mother Amanda.

"I am fine Gibbs, I will be glad when all this is sorted, I am going to be looking for a new apartment also as there is not enough room at mine".

Silence descended on the trio and soon the time came to leave for the most important meeting of Ziva's life so far.

Ziva left the office in stunned silence, Amanda's hand tucked safely in her own. She was now the proud mother of the seven year old and the process had taken a relatively short amount of time. Turns out when the child of an agent is essentially at risk of being put in foster care - even if the mother was Agent Lee who had betrayed her country even if she did redeem herself at the end, - people higher up like to see the children put into a safe secure environment where they will be loved as soon as physically possible. Ziva had listened to all that had been said and looked as though she was taking everything in but in actuality she only took in the parts where she was given sole custody of Amanda and told that the adoption papers were going before the judge later that week. Looking down at Amanda Ziva smiled "well Amanda it looks like we have the next 8 weeks to get a suitable place to live and enrol you in school".

Amanda looked at Ziva "so I'm staying with you for ever now?"

Ziva smiled and lifted her into her arms "yes tateleh you are living with me for ever, is that ok with you?"

Amanda grinned and tears slid down her cheeks as she nodded her head vigorously. Ziva smiled and wiped her tears away, placing a kiss on her head and cuddling her close as she,add her way down to the bullpen to retrieve some items from her desk, the last thing she needed was a certain "very special agent" going through her desk and speculating on what he found.


End file.
